got a shock when i came to church today. what happened to the hedges???!!!! how come they've vanished???!! i thought they'd done something to it. looked different when i saw the place on fri night. but i had no idea the hedges were uprooted. those hedges were there since...the dawn of time. the place looks so exposed and naked now. it's so weird. wonder why they did it? prevent bush fires?

the library's self borrowing machine is so crazy. just now i was at toa payoh library. got 4 bks to borrow, among them, tolkien's "the lost road" and "idiots' guide to html" aka web page maker. ok. went to the machine. inserted my card. the thing didn't read. so i reinserted my card. fine. then i scanned the tolkien book. the crazy machine registered web page maker instead. panic. so i took out my card. the receipt came out. the book scanned was web page maker. what the.... anyway, rescanned the tolkien book. it came out ok. (note: the web book hadn't been anywhere near the scanner) scanned my other 2 books. no prob. then scanned the web book. it didn't work!!! said that i already scanned it. freak. crazy machine.

it's all toh ying's fault. i'm so hooked onto orson scott card. true, i only read 2 of his books, ender's game and ender's shadow. but i'm so hooked. can't believe i actually like his science-fiction books. i scare myself. couldn't put down ender's game when i first got it. now i can't put down ender's shadow. :D

Dear Diary...MJC opening ceremony

here's another historical date to mark. last night 25 Feb 2005 was the night of the meridian jc official opening ceremony. bit ironic that the ceremony took place after the pioneer batch graduated. but at least we were invited to witness the ceremony. guest of honour was teo chee hean.

we were told to register our presence by 5.30. being good people, we did. zaidah wanted to refill her water bottle. the teacher didn't let her go to the canteen to refill. so she decided to go to the water coolers at the classroom block. the counsellor very reluctantly let her through. then that poor fella got scolded by the teacher. what the...?! is there some top secret thing in there that we can't see?? why the need for closing the place????

anyway, since sumi and duan hui didn't register through the email, they were supposed to go to LT 2 instead of the hall. so i went with zaidah, jasmine and nga chi. they got so excited when they saw shi yun. zaidah was running in her heels. stood at the choir room door and waving to everyone in the room. miss edna wong and the other choir teacher were looking at us like, "who are you? what are you doing here?" saw mr pang come back for the ceremony.

then, as we were walking towards the hall, we saw sumi, duan hui and toh ying. apparently, those two decided to sneak into the hall. how come they managed to come by the canteen way?? they saw dr s and mdm heng. i didn't. sigh. anyway, they decided to sneak in and mr nathan said he'll protect them if people tried to throw them out. looking out for people we know. saw nuha and adam, dressed so formally. nuha looked so different. poh lin was wearing a dress. looked so cool. like prom. miss ho was there, the boy-boy lao shi, sarah ee, dr s...no mr naresh. he was MIA the whole night. mdm yew came back. still the same mam.

seated at 5.30. sat and waited. and waited. and waited. so long!!! they screened some propaganda videos that they showed before. nice memories evoked. finally the ceremony started at 6.30. guest of honour and all arrived. then speeches, speeches, more speeches. sigh. so boring. miss lai's speech (actually it was supposed to be opening address) was almost 20 minutes long. which was ok, as she was the first speaker. after her was the chairman of sch advisory committee. he talked for almost 15 minutes. and most of it was repeating what miss lai said. boring. then teo chee hean talked. that was ok. at least he tried to inject some humour into it. other than that, it was kinda usual talk. btw, the female mc reminded me forcefully of mdm yew. the hair, dressing, talk...

when FINALLY the speeches were over, time for the launching of the plaque. that was fun. there was this IFO thing. teo chee hean, released the IFO and it flew round the hall and out of the hall. cool. grace ong presented teo chee hean with some photography work she did of flowers. couldn't understand the meaning though. then was the concert. my choir did not bad. just the j2s singing. got some of them soloing with mics. cass was one of them. well done. the blending was so great. did well guys. second act was the band and co. that was so cool. loved the percussion section. brought the college anthem to grand heights. then the dance and taekwondo troupe. that was ok. i think the dance troupe could have done better. i wonder what that ang moh girl was doing there. i thought she wasn't in dance.

anyway, the finally act was the best. choir came back on, finale. a bunch of us decided to stand and sing along to the music. zaidah was signalling to nuha and denise in the other side to stand also. so ended up, a bunch of us arts people, except duan hui science. and also we the bunch of choir seniors, stood up and joined in the fun. if the opening ceremony was shown on tv, you would surely have seen us cos we were so exposed. in front of us were the boring science people and guests. haha. so much fun. hyperness made us do it. saw cass smiling so widely as she sang when she saw us. the juniors must be so happy that we show so much support for them. :D

after that the students were doing the mj cheers. we knew the "tell me tell me who's the best" cheer. we heard of the mega-mix cheer. but there was a generation gap with that new one. never heard it before. haha! old liao. anyway, later we were told to go to that open area outside the science labs for refreshment. that was chaos. the alumni, students, performers were all jammed into that mini space. finger food, chicken wings curry puff... bit pathetic. had to fight for the drinks. so not enough. the bunch of us hid in the corner behind the drinks. there was a table and space to hang out away from the crowd. haha. saw wei ying. miss her. she was directing the flow of people along the staircase. long time since the england trip. snowy was suffocating inside her bag. :D

anyway, we decided to just grab a small bite here then go to white sands for dinner. duan hui was so eager to take photos but it was a bit too chaotic. wanted to meet the teachers too. poh lin actually called mdm heng. but they were in the canteen which was out of bounds for some reason. thought of sneaking into the canteen through the field but decided that it would be a bit awkward cos they were seated at round table and stuff like that. so hopefully, we can save the smiles for the a level results day. hopefully.

went to mcdonalds for dinner with poh lin, sumi and duan hui. we lost jasmine, zaidah and nga chi at the school. the place was almost full of mj students and alumni. insult of the day: i was standing in queue to order, then this woman came up, works at mac lah, got this palm top thing to take orders. she was like, aunty, you want to order now? what the...???!!! she was way way older than me lor. i know i was wearing nonya type of top but still... shock shock. do i look that aunty?? whatever lah. crazy woman.

went home early cos duan hui had to be back for dinner. if not then we surely would have walked around white sands for a while. so long the whole group of us haven't gotten together. planning to get together next thurs and fri, before the results come out. we'll see. on the whole, great day. had fun. loved it.

external influence on our thoughts

Don’t think about a pink elephant! Don’t you dare think about a BIG pink elephant — with a tiny pink tail,big pink ears, and a cute little pink mouth. No matter what, don’t think about a pink elephant!

Now what are you thinking about? You are thinking about a pink elephant, aren’t you. I told you NOT to think about him, but you still are.

This shows the power of how our thoughts can be guided and controlled. haha. :D

Constantine

i just came back from watching "constantine" with poh lin and duan hui. verdict? 3 and 1/2 stars out of 5. i think that PG is too low a rating for it. it's disturbing. to me at least. should have a more restricted audience. the only other movie like it, that i've seen, is "the passion". all this angels and demons thing. i can't say that i liked the movie. but i can't exactly say that i hated it either. it's just disturbing.

the plot was a bit complicated. spear of destiny, the devil's son, exorcists, hell, damnation, crazy angel gabrielle. it was a really dark film. but i can't put my finger on what exactly i found disturbing. the effects were so real. most confusing was the angel gabrielle. is she supposed to be good or bad?

imo, "constantine" is worth watching. but be prepared to be shaken. the concept of evil and good. how our actions and intentions affect us after life. it's time to think about the dark side. "...believe in the devil? he believes in you."

such a cool song

You Were There
by Clay Aiken
album: Summer Tour (2004)

I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight

'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb

'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were

Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath

You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God

You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God

roller coaster ride of emotion

it's interesting how many emotions we experience in the course of one day, or even in the course of just one activity. here's some from my day today.

i woke up confused this morning. was that ding ding sound part of my dream or was it my mother waking me up? then irritation. it's only 7.30. what for wake me up so early? i'm tired. later on irritated cos parents nag me about 6 years of choir with jennifer tham and nelson kwei and still singing like that, must sing properly etc etc.

at church, shyness with having to practice with the mic. panic attack. talk about leaving my comfort zone. embarrassment that i had to walk over to the organ side during the reading. pressure cos what if i screw up? need to set example for my other lectors. at the lector stand, extreme nervousness. what if something goes wrong?! immediately after the psalm, exhileration and relief. it's over and i did ok. very happy with my altos today. altos rock!

at mph, anticipation cos hoping there's clay aiken's 'learning to sing' book. jubilation! they have it!! bit dampened. it cost $41.48, sigh. hopefulness that maybe can borrow $20 from parents to make up the difference since i already have the rest with me. annoyance that parents think the book's a guide to singing despite my telling them it's an autobiography. disappointment that i don't have enough money to buy it yet. amused thought that if clay teaches me to sing, i surely would lose my voice. already losing it. ;D

in the bus, wonder at how someone put a white rose in the box where the bus guides are kept. romantic scenerios flashing across my mind. curious at how some woman i saw could keep waist length, really thick, untied hair and wear long sleeves with out melting. amazement that some other woman was so skinny that she could wrap an anklet around twice to make it a bracelet.

back home, listening about alexander graham bell on 'your story hour'. bit bored at first. tedious. later, interested when they mentioned something about a dead man's ear. disappointed that it was a 'to be continued...' thing. "aha!" moment when i wondered that why famous people like to mess around with dead bodies. really angry when parents nag me about andrew's work. pissed. really. he's sec 4. why can't he handle his own damn work?! blog reading. happy that verena & dawn's grandpa is better. sad to think about uncle ted in the same situation last last year. confused by that game thing on clifford's blog. is that about how far a drunk can run?? impressed with jess's new skin. way cool gal. excited that i discovered adrian's blog. interesting fella. really amused with jac's entries. especially...well everything. :D

amazing how it's a roller coaster ride of emotions. all these feelings in just one day. woah.

attended the youth group's first prayer meet session last night. it was ok i guess. i was kinda expecting something like what shauna used to conduct in sac but, hey, different church, different methods. last night kinda reminds me of pc class with dr s. read and discuss the passage type. maybe i expected something like praise and worship session, not so lit tutorial like. but then, this was only the first session. see how lah.

the session itself was ok. again, reminds me of pc tutorial. had some personal sharing. bit malu when i said that i had no reaction to the reading. but it's true. nothing really struck me. i have this problem all the time. that's why i sometimes don't say a single word in lit class, cos i don't have a reaction to the passage. maybe i listen too much to bible dramatisation on 'your story hour'. shrugs.

actually, i don't really remember much of last night's session. something about outcasts and comfort zone thingy. bit awkward doing sharing about it. sensitive topic for me i guess. erm...ya... i talked about things that, given my way, would never ever see light. ya, well, awkward.

nick closed the session with a quote. something about pray like god controls everything but work like there's no god. ok. sure, i get the theory behind it. it's what got me where i am in the first place. it seems as if our prayer and our work is ... independent of each other. bit hard to explain. pls don't nag me about this. it's like, prayer is prayer, work is work, never shall the twain meet. why bother praying so hard if i'm gonna have to work my butt off anyway, and vice versa? ok, i'm confusing myself now. better stop.

reading the gospel reading last night about the transfiguration. i noticed something interesting. i'm still in the bible parallels mode. this scene mirrors the scene of jesus' baptism. the voice from heaven and all. instead of holy spirit appearing, it's moses and elijah. at the end, the desciples were told not to tell. but i'm wondering, why? i assume that during the baptism, people already heard the heavenly voice and saw the dove/holy spirit. so why does jesus want the disciples to keep quiet about the vision?

next, i'm wondering if there's significance in the voice repeating the same lines. "this is my son the beloved etc..." the disciples are already convinced that jesus is the messiah plus the voice at the baptism would be good enough. so why say it again? i had this thought. maybe the transfiguration equals confirmation? jesus going through rite of passage like us. that's why the voice repeats the line? hmm...

on the whole, the session was ok. since i'm the type that finds it hard to say no, and since people are using the guilt card on me, probably i'll continue going. nothing better to do anyway.

p.s. my results are coming out, predicted date 4 march. so i'll wait for my results before seeing if i'll get a proper job. so please stop asking me about it. also, i was reading my own blog, and suddenly i have this feeling of deja vu. scary.